I woke up this morning, as all mornings and went to feed everyone, when I got to the rats cage Socorro was laying close to the bars breathing heavily, I stroked her through the bars and to my horror she was cold and didn't wake. Paniced, I scooped her up and went off to the vets, she's shutting down she told me, there's no help, we can put her down now, but she feels no pain. After a tearful discussion with the vet I opted to bring her home as I was advised she would pass away in her sleep with me. And here she sits with me wrapped up in her favorite fleece blanket, sleeping and breathing, she wiggles from now and then, as if to get comfortable. Last week on this day my male rat Gallileo passed away, I never posted anything as I was kicking myself for not taking him to the vet. A few days ago my betta passed away, and this morning we had to bury my runt hamster Weeble, as he passed sometime in his sleep last night, for the smallest runt i've ever seen he sure lived a good while.
And now here I sit, with my baby girl sleeping on my lap, never really waking.
I knew this day would come, I knew there would be a day where I would have to say goodbye to my original 3 ratties, minerva has tumours, Takara is losing hair, but Socorro seemed great, she ran around, she bickered, she ate and did acrobatics around the cage. Now she sits almost lifeless with me and i'm wishing I could make her better, I would take off ten years of my life if it meant one more year with my lovely hairless babe.
The girls were cuddled around her, offering food, cleaning her, and laying on her, they're worried and when I took her out I got a lot of disapproving grabs and nips, as if they just wanted her to stay with them, now they all sit, all 13 staring out the cage at me, as if waiting for me to put her back and have her be okay.
She's about 2 years and some odd months, I know the age of her is a good one for a ratty, but it's hard to watch them slip away from you. You can see all my ratty girls here [link] as they run around and play.

My beautiful baby girl, i'm so sorry I can't help you.

This has been a horrible month, with not having money, deaths and an N-5 eviction notice cause we apparently owe rent, but we paid every month, we believe the landlord or superintendent are stiffing us, and with a kick out date of December 12th and nowhere to go we're scared and lost, rent has always been paid and now uncertainty sits here.

I'm completely lost.

Rewind and replay, this was the same scenario that happened in our apartment last year.

We have nowhere to go, no one can help.

I'm lost and scared, why must holidays be like this, I could careless for presents or a tree, I just want a roof over my head and for everyone to be safe and warm.


I'm lost, really lost and scared.





My To Do List:

*Update DA more often
*Comment on several backpages of deviations
*Give Tarantula bigger habitat
*Get Izzy a mate
*Gift Arts
*Update Critter counter
*Re-Add critter counter to journal
*Get boy rats bigger cage
*Get girl rats bigger cage
*Finish unpacking from move darn it !
*Stop watching Spongebob on days off
*Figure life out
*Submit Updated pics of my new hams and offspring
*Get back into painting
*Get more charcoal pens, puppy ate them
*Train puppy not to eat things
*Stop obsessing over WHILS
*Get outside, bike more, run more
*Quit feeling old, you're only 21 lady !
*Get a snake
*Get mice or natal rats
*Get a hedgehog
*Buy a farm all ready lady !
*Get Mom and Dad a new puppy before they go crazy missing Tiiko
*Open an animal sanctuary all ready ! yeesh.
*Play nice with the other kids

And that's all I gots so far.

Requests/Trades
Open, send note.

Clubs-




Shameless Plug -

So people will stop asking me, my current animal count is:

Cats- Angel, Panther (2)
Dogs - Squeeky, Tobias (2)
Bunnies - Smuckers, Norman, Imperial K Hope (3)
Hamsters - Shookha, Sweety, Spirit (3)
Lizards - Akira, Izzy, Vianca, Dezzy, Darvin, Jezabell (6)+1 offspring, Unnamed Snake
Guinea Pigs - Adonia, Pinky (2)
Ratties - Takara, Minerva, Socorro, Ambrosia, Nefertiti, Delilah, Lilly, Trillium, Snikerz, Donna, Franny, Odessa, Miley, Peaches, Primrose, Xerxes, Bleach, Fern, Dexter, Carlin (19)
Birds - Yoshi, Waffle (2)
Newst - 3 unnamed fire belly newts
Chinchilla - Gem (1)
Hedgehog - Flurr (1)
Mice - Le-a{pronounced Ledasha), Charlotte, Anna-Lea Rose (3)
Degu's - Aldo, Jumbo (2)

I'm feeling very environmental lately, so I thought i'd share what me and Ry are doing to try and help the environment.
We take 5 minute (yes timed) showers. We purchased a million green products, dish soap, detergent, all purpose cleaner, glass cleaner, toilet cleaner etc. I only clean my floors with vinegar and warm water. We bought a nifty device for our dryer so it expells the heat inside of our home, cutting heating costs and keeping my heater off. We use only cold water to wash our clothes. I have switched my cat litter to a green earth litter that is biodegradeable and can be flushed down the toilet or put in our green bin. We switched the animals over to newspaper as a sole for litter and bedding, it's working wonderfully and is biodegradeable ! This summer we purchased a push mower, no electricity or gas needed ! just your own brute strength. I have 2 recycle bins and 2 green compost bins meaning my garbage goes out perhaps once every two weeks or so. We purchased board games and candles and piles of matches, so when the sun goes down no lights are ever used, we go by candlelight and entertain ourselves with stories, board or card games. Our fridge is environmentally friendly and uses less elecrticity and we try and use our oven as little as possible, instead we make salads and other garden greens. We have started purchasing organic foods to eliminate my worry over pesticide uses and I now make my own dog and cat food ! All this has cut down on our costs significantly and made me feel a little greener about my world. If we really need to we buy recycled paper towel or just use towels and blankets for other things to cut down on it. We have bought that foam sealant stuff and sealed off ever hole in the house we could find to keep the cold away aswell. Has anyone else out there tried to make their world a little greener ? please share ! more ideas would be wonderful aswell as a good self esteem boost, it's the little things that really count !

I also am now out of a job and debating life, I put resumes out and nothing so i'm considering getting help from the government and going back to school, I would love to actually be something a little better then a cook in a deli within a grocery store, so let's see where life takes me I suppose !

And i'm pleased to announce my new furry babies that have arrived, you can see below what's new, i've taken on 12 rats apparently ! and I will try and get pics of everyone. I also have a pedigree chocolate harlequin doe, named Imperial K Hope, going to think of a different name for her but keep that as her show name, she is apparently carrying kits right now and i'm excited to see if she does give birth, she had a healthy first litter of nine all of whom survived. The poor lady who had her before loved her to death and showed her quite a bit but had to close down her Rabbitry when she was diagnosed with cancer, I would've taken all those beautiful babes if I could've ! But I only had one rabbit cage left and she was too pretty to pass up.
Anyway, how is everyone else feeling ? how's the world treating everyone ? I hope everyone had a grand Hallowe'en ! I attempted to give out this year but no kids came so I have a mountain of candy now and one upset tummy, ugh !


My To Do List:

*Update DA more often
*Comment on several backpages of deviations
*Give Tarantula bigger habitat
*Get Izzy a mate
*Gift Arts
*Update Critter counter
*Re-Add critter counter to journal
*Get boy rats bigger cage
*Get girl rats bigger cage
*Finish unpacking from move darn it !
*Stop watching Spongebob on days off
*Figure life out
*Submit Updated pics of my new hams and offspring
*Get back into painting
*Get more charcoal pens, puppy ate them
*Train puppy not to eat things
*Stop obsessing over WHILS
*Get outside, bike more, run more
*Quit feeling old, you're only 21 lady !
*Get a snake
*Get mice or natal rats
*Get a hedgehog
*Buy a farm all ready lady !
*Get Mom and Dad a new puppy before they go crazy missing Tiiko
*Open an animal sanctuary all ready ! yeesh.
*Play nice with the other kids

And that's all I gots so far.

Requests/Trades
Open, send note.

Clubs-




Shameless Plug -

So people will stop asking me, my current animal count is:

Cats- Angel, Panther (2)
Dogs - Squeeky, Tobias (2)
Bunnies - Smuckers, Norman, Imperial K Hope (3)
Hamsters - Shookha, Sweety, Spirit (3)
Lizards - Akira, Izzy, Vianca, Dezzy, Darvin, Jezabell (6)+1 offspring, Unnamed Snake
Guinea Pigs - Adonia, Pinky (2)
Ratties - Takara, Minerva, Socorro, Ambrosia, Nefertiti, Delilah, Lilly, Trillium, Snikerz, Donna, Franny, Odessa, Miley, Peaches, Primrose, Xerxes, Bleach, Fern, Dexter, Carlin (20)
Birds - Yoshi, Waffle (2)
Fish - Half Bite the Popper/ Betta fish (1)
Chinchilla - Gem (1)
Hedgehog - Flurr (1)
Mice - Le-a{pronounced Ledasha), Charlotte, Anna-Lea Rose (3)
Degu's - Aldo, Jumbo (2)

I went away last friday to visit a friend, Ry was left to tend to the animals.
On monday Sid my lil ham died, he informed me and it was a confusing thing as he was perfectly fine. On Tuesday he called and told me a dog had gotten into the yard and killed my beautiful hotot bunny Zelda, I cried in a coffee shop.
I came home yesterday and went straight to the shed, and there I found my dying Loopy, he was laying flat in his litter box breathing heavily. I scooped him up in a towel and petted him and cried, he took his last breath at 10:57 that night and then my beautiful sweet harlequin was gone forever. I'm lost now, I wish I could exchange lives with someone. My wonderfully healthy hotot taken down by someones carelessness with watching their dog and the leash law. And my Loopy, he was seven years old, for seven years he stuck by my side, the biggest sweetest bunny you could ever fathom, I know I will never find a bunny quite like him.

My world fell apart in three short days...



My To Do List:

*Update DA more often
*Comment on several backpages of deviations
*Give Tarantula bigger habitat
*Get Izzy a mate
*Gift Arts
*Update Critter counter
*Re-Add critter counter to journal
*Get boy rats bigger cage
*Get girl rats bigger cage
*Finish unpacking from move darn it !
*Stop watching Spongebob on days off
*Figure life out
*Submit Updated pics of my new hams and offspring
*Get back into painting
*Get more charcoal pens, puppy ate them
*Train puppy not to eat things
*Stop obsessing over WHILS
*Get outside, bike more, run more
*Quit feeling old, you're only 21 lady !
*Get a snake
*Get mice or natal rats
*Get a hedgehog
*Buy a farm all ready lady !
*Get Mom and Dad a new puppy before they go crazy missing Tiiko
*Open an animal sanctuary all ready ! yeesh.
*Play nice with the other kids

And that's all I gots so far.

Requests/Trades
Open, send note.

Clubs-




Shameless Plug -

So people will stop asking me, my current animal count is:

Cats- Angel, Panther (2)
Dogs - Squeeky, Tobias (2)
Bunnies - Smuckers, Norman (2)
Hamsters - Shookha, Sweety, Spirit, Weeble (4)
Lizards - Akira, Izzy, Vianca, Dezzy, Darvin (5)+1 offspring
Guinea Pigs - Adonia, To Be Renamed (2)
Ratties - Takara, Minerva, Socorro, Ambrosia, Nefertiti, Finnigan, Xerxes, Galileo, Bleach, Fern (10)
Creepy Crawlies - Monkey, Rose Hair Tarantula
Birds - Yoshi, Waffle (2)
Fish - Half Bite the Popper/ Betta fish (1)
Chinchilla - Gem (1)
Hedgehog - Flurr (1)
Mice - Le-a{pronounced Ledasha), Charlotte, Anna-Lea Rose, Rosea-Lea Ann (4) +1 offspring
Degu's - Aldo, Unnamed, Scrub (3)

I suppose I should do a proper journal.
Well so far my life is just as confusing as it was when I left off, i'm not even going to try and explain this relationship thing.
The baby squirrel I was caring for suddenly stopped eating, she was taken to a vet who determined she had developed a bowel problem and that was why she was abandoned by her mother. We took her home and kept her warm until she passed, she fell asleep and never woke up. When we buried her we named her Ambrosia, i'm glad she had a better life then what she would have had outside, freezing to death in one night. She was warm, cuddled and loved.
Shammy, my cute lil dwarf ham passed away suddenly, he was perfectly fine one day then gone the next, as is common in hamsters. Szechwan had a severe bowel problem and was put down, poor lil guy.

Tiiko, the first dog I ever got, my lovely lil bichon shih tzu cross was put to sleep three weeks ago on tuesday, if anyone recalls he had epilepsy. He spent all night seizing and all day, my parents just couldn't do it anymore and dropped him off at the vets to be put down, they gave him a mild sedative and he slept by the secretaries side and never woke up, we believe he was ready to go. The vets sent us a card three days after. They phoned my mom, they had donated money to the research of epilepsy where they had a wing in the school named after him, it was very touching, that lil dog impacted everyone he met and the vets really did want to find a balance in his pills, we believe he had a brain tumor. We were hoping they donated his body, mainly his brain to science but they cremated him. My parents are still incredibly upset and their other dog, a purebred shih tzu Abby took it the worst, she's been looking for him for weeks, they adored one another... they came in while I was working and told me that day he would be put down, I couldn't go anywhere even after explaining the circumstances, they were short staffed and unfortunately my manager thinks all animals are vile dirty smelly plagues on this earth, great woman eh ?
So I went through my shift trying to act like everything was okay and doing everything in my power not to cry.

As you can probably tell I have a new dog, an Alaskan husky named Tobias aswell as a new litter of hamster pups.

Panther just three days ago took a seizure, it scared the crap out of me and took him awhile to come back, I don't really want to go through this again. For anyone who doesn't know Panther is my big fat black cat who loves everyone and everything.

Ah, what else ? The boys bank account got frauded right on the day we put money in to pay rent, so his account was at zero, i'm currently working my butt off to make up the difference as we are moving next week to the other larger apartment across the hall from me, it has a larger living area, bedroom, and a small deck, better for the dogs and I want a bigger place. The bank so far has done nothing to try and figure out what's going on and get our money back.

I went to the reptile expo in Toronto awhile ago and acquired a gravid female leopard gecko, she has laid three eggs thus far, only one seems to be in good health, the other two were tossed out as they were incredibly mushy and would definatly not hatch, i'm hoping this egg does hatch, even one would be grand, hatch date is set at July 14th. I named her Viancha and she is a gorgeous girl, i'll have to post some pics of her aswell.

So basically my life has been full of deaths, depression, and money woes. I'm confused frustrated angry and trying to stay positive all at once.

I've also got a pile of work problems and am currently searching for a new job, which is impossible to find in the recession, noone is hiring anywhere around here, ugh.

Well, i've ranted enough I believe, I hope everyone else is well, and i'm hoping I can sort things out, if not i'm not sure what's going to happen to me or my critters... here's to hoping for the best.

I saw this lil chain thingy from 's journal and I just had to do it, it actually made me smile and chuckle a bit thinking about how bad I am.

[x] smoked.
[x] consumed alcohol.
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex.
[x] kissed someone of the same sex.
[x] had sex.
[x] had someone in your room other than family.
[x] watched porn
[x] bought porn.
[x] tried drugs.

TOTAL: 10 XD Uh oh, off to a bad start !

[x] taken painkillers.
[x] taken someone else's prescription medicine.
[x] lied to your parents.
[x] lied to a friend.
[x] snuck out of the house.
[x] done something illegal.
[x] felt hurt.
[x] hurt someone.
[x] wished someone to die.
[ ] seen someone die.

TOTAL: 9

[x] missed curfew.
[x] stayed out all night.
[x] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[x] been to a therapist.
[x] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair.
[x] been in an accident.
[x] been to a club.
[x] been to a bar

TOTAL: 9

[x] been to a wild party.
[ ] been to a Mardi Gras parade.
[x] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night.
[ ] had a spring break in Florida.
[x] sniffed anything
[x] wore black nail polish
[x] wore arm bands.
[x] wore t-shirts with band names.
[x] listened to rap.
[ ] owned a 50 Cent CD.

TOTAL: 7

[x] dressed gothic.
[x] dressed girly.
[x] dressed punk.
[x] dressed grunge.
[x] stole something.
[x] been too drunk to remember anything.
[x] blacked out.
[x] fainted.
[x] had a crush on a neighbor.

TOTAL: 9

[x] had a crush on a friend.
[x] been to a concert.
[x] dry-humped someone.
[x] been called a slut.
[x] called someone a slut.
[ ] installed speakers in your car.
[x] broken a mirror.
[x] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[x] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush

TOTAL: 8

[x] considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
[x] seen an R-rated movie in theater.
[x] cruised on mail.
[x] skipped school.
[x] had surgery.
[x] had an injury.
[x] gone to court.
[x] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping.
[x] caught something on fire.
[x] lied about your age.

TOTAL: 10

[x] owned/rented an apartment/house.
[x] broke the law in the police's presence.
[x] made out with someone who had a gf/bf
[x] got in trouble with the police.
[x] talked to a stranger.
[x] hugged a stranger.
[x] kissed a stranger.
[x] rode in the car with a stranger.
[x] been harassed.
[x] been verbally harassed.

TOTAL: 10

[x] met face-to-face with someone you met online.
[x] stayed online for 5+ hours straight.
[x] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
[x] watched TV for 5 hours straight.
[x] been to a fair.
[x] been called a bad influence.
[ ] drank and drove.
[x] prank-called someone.
[x] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.
[x] cheated on a test.

TOTAL: 9

GRAND TOTAL: 81


If You Have Less Than 10.. write [I'm a Goody Goody]
If You Have More Than 10.. write [I'm still a goody goody]
If You Have more Than 20..write [I'm average]
If You Have More Than 30..write [I'm a bad kid]
If You have more than 40..write [I'm a very bad influence]
If You Have more than 50..write [I'm a horrible person]
If You Have more than 60..write [I should be in jail]
If You Have more than 70..Write [I should be dead] Haha, awesome !

Yes I am still alive, just dealing with this confusing life and quite a fair amount of animal deaths and illness', playing vet to a few peoples critters currently, i'll update when I can, I promise

I hope everyone is well !